Food, Shelter and Green Paper 

She felt trapped in a day that wasn’t her choice.

A day deprived of purpose but still remained the promise of food, shelter and green paper. 

The promise of these comforts envelop the courage to pursue what makes her radiate, what makes her want to wake in the morning.

Moments are filled with passionless movements and small ideals. She fights the feelings of nothingness and reminds herself food, shelter and green paper.

She lives in a world that is tilted but steady, with no fear of the unknown to follow her psyche.

Each night, when the buzz of the world quiets, she drifts off to sleep with thoughts of tomorrow’s obligations tugging at her and remnants of her dreams idling quietly in the corner.

Nights compound into months and her dreams become quieter.  

Food, shelter and green paper remain steady, tightening their reigns as her desire to dull the pain of unfulfilled dreams makes the card swipe for all of the purchases. The latest debt amplifying, dream killing trend.

She finds a kind partner, falls deeply in love, and raises a family. Her family brings her joy, a feeling of fullness and more obligations. Her dreams are mute and her children give her a beautiful purpose to nurture.

The world remains quenching for hope, love and health. The world remains rooting for the dreams to ignite and infiltrate the grey that most of us experience.

Months turn to years. Years turn to decades.

She is an aged expert at numbing her dreams with a comfortable retirement and an abundance of time.

Her children are grown, on their own quest to face the fork in the road that often presents: stability or risk, expected or desired. 

Her partner loves her more than ever. Her partner fills his days with activities that compel him to wake. He loves her deeply but knows not one person can fulfill his deep, ever needing soul.

She has time now. Her empty space awakens the quieted dreams.

The duration of her years are spent unleashing these dreams to the extent she’s capable of doing.

With the small slice of time she has left, she brightens the world, imprinting smiles, hope and camaraderie where she goes.

She thoroughly enjoys every day living her truth. In her old age, she finally feels alive.

She takes time to reflect.

The smooth, constant river soothes her mind and body, allowing her the freedom to feel.

She slowly sits into a comfortable position and stares into introspection, “My life has been fine.”

“My final years will fulfill my awakening desires.”

As she sits alone, her eyes well up with tears and her heart sinks as she thinks,

What if I listened sooner?”

She lets the sadness momentarily consume her, throb within her soul, as she stares into the flashing images of everything that could’ve been.

The wave of regret runs its course. She breathes a deep and heavy sigh, remembers everything she has been lucky to experience: love, simply existing in such a beautiful world, her children’s growth. 

Her gratitude helps but does not save her from feeling trapped in the bitterness of suppressing her dreams… the bitterness of falling victim to the false security that we only need food, shelter, green paper. 

Fear gnawed at her life, paralyzed her from jumping into the unknown. 

Fear of failure is what makes self realization an exhilaratingly risky and fulfilling situation.

Be in love and share your gifts.

Life is but a paradox of good and bad, ups and downs. Do not stand on the side line and experience nothing.

“The flower that blooms in adversity is the rarest and most beautiful of all.” – Walt Disney

With love,

Kaitlyn 💚

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